My Lover’s Imagined Monologue
Moto: the woman loves herself in different ways, depending of the way she is being looked at
Dewy city sights covered in the purple colour of dawn increases both her fear and starvation for my humbly offered affection.
I am trapped in a question by her mind that keeps on turning me over and under her uncertainty
The torture is bringing me close to her like a magnet
I’m just ascending to a better self with selfish demeanor.
I am her soul’s personal photographer
And , Lord, how her vanity shows when I capture some different expression she didn’t know about
But soon her anger of a spoiled princess fades when she lowers her head in regret.
You see, she’s one of those who get jealous with their own reflection.
She fails to notice that her middle name is Woman
Mountain that dreams of being me: water and air
I erode it’s margins
I etch wrinkles in on its forehead…
I gain meaning despite my volatility.
My hands are evaporating on its chest…
I am haze.
We grow forests together.
This voluptuousness is painful with a new fear:
Loneliness is an illness I can only cure myself of alone.
Roxana is often seen as a little nobody and she likes that. She loves being the spectator of the world around her. Sometimes she interacts with her invented world and becomes an actress herself…believing in her roles so much that she’s performing all the time.
It ceased to be a surprise for the ones who know her, seeing her making strangers laugh on the night bus by saying whatever passed through her mind, not seldom playing the fool in order to speak truthfully with a twist, wearing a weird outfit around the city just to see people’s reactions and so many others.
She realised with joy a while ago that each ordinary life bears something spectacular and that happiness is not only the comfortable sensation of having achieved something, but also the capacity of enjoying what one’s being left with after inevitable moments of distress.
She is now both a jester and a witness of a world that is being shown to her in it’s rawness.
Doubt has become her only certainty because one can only find out more about the world when one deepens it’s mystery…
She gave up ambitions and started having dreams instead. Whether that is because dreams sound more poetical, or they simply suit her nature better, I do not know yet.
Roxana decided to capture the beauty around her in stories, like a photographer …..wanting to immortalize an epiphany.