Breakup: A Shortcut to Wisdom

In a way they were releasing into the world a whirlpool of love that was forever going to change each other and more.

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They embrace as they look outside the window. The light sieves through the curtains mingling with her tears.
 They have been talking. There isn't any real solution. They will break up and it hurts tremendously although they feel grateful for this story that became larger than the time they have been granted together.
 Lidia met Damian in a club in Bucharest, nothing fancy.
 She loved telling her friends about the moment he called her for the first time. She was just visiting Romania, not intending to stay. So she told him there isn't much of a point to see each other again.
 "I might get a spam message from you for Christmas!" he said jokingly
 Christmas came and surprisingly Lidia called. Just for fun.
 He asked who it was. She was embarrassed by the situation and hurried to say that it didn't really matter.
 Hey, that is not really fair, now, is it? Let me guess. Is this Lidia by any chance?
 Yes, she responded.
 Intrigued, she continued: How did you recognize me ?
 It's not that hard, it's your attitude!
 She couldn't find a word that described her attitude but she figured it was something that had to do with the reluctance vs willingness to speak to him and she blushed.
 Conversations between them were a delight. They rested in each other's thoughts with relish and after days of talking for hours, she had to invent a reason to see him.
 She is a curious kind of girl.
 She wore a large hat and she was nervous thinking that meeting a complete stranger was such a silly thing to do. I really need to grow up! He might be a serial killer! were the thoughts played on repeat in her mind. What's more, she couldn't even remember what he looked like any more. He must be attractive if I gave him my contact, she thought
 When he arrived, she recognized him the minute he said hello. He had the warmest voice and the calmest demeanour. She looked up, her eyes showing sheepishly from under the large brown hat.
 She stayed over in his place, on 14 Little Lavender Street for 3 days and they both entered the dimension of bliss. They held hands and acted as if they had been living in that place for ages, they learned how each other had his cuppa', about theirs grandparents and friends and dreams and hopes and had the hungriest sex. She even read out loud The Little Prince and The Velveteen Rabbit. Her flight to London was in 4 days. She lost that flight.Her brother booked her flight from a different airport. Funny, isn't it?
 Truth be told, she was never too upset! He laughed( a lot!) then urged her to come back to his place.

Conveniently, she left her tooth brush there, as she was clumsy and forgetful and he adored her sometimes just because.

DSC_0945
  Long story short: Romance was on!
 Due to another project she happened to have in Romania they spent time together and the fact that they were so happy was no longer just an illusion they could blame on the hormonal hype.
 They were still hopeful when she went back to London. What can distance destroy when they had so much in common, so much to share and even a few happy memories.
 But when 5 months have past and they haven't seen one another, both their lives too complicated and impossible to bring together, their next encounter was painful.
 Underneath there was the same love and respect but the reality that they lived in different countries, different lives, was screaming with frustration.
 The elephant in the room was all grown up now and it was impossible to ignore.
 There were tears. There was the talk and the unutterably cruel conclusion stroke: breakup.
 Damian wasn't the first boyfriend she had. She got hurt many times, she got emotionally abused until she learned all the mechanisms of the abuser, she even tried to have open relationships (She just wasn't suited for it) , and eventually she wriggled out of the script her insecurity was condemning her to. Then she chose to be alone. And that was her idea of safety or at least the closest she ever felt to safety anyway.
 But Damian melted all those toxic believes that safety means loneliness and isolation or lack of hope. His steadfast unconditional presence diffused all the wet mouldy walls she built around her heart. She learned what true safety meant: it oozed with affection and mutual respect and love and space to make mistakes and be forgiven. She had the chance to be 100% herself and that was something that she had never hoped for.
 Damian was also grateful for the magic, friendship and her honesty.
 This relationship represented the key that unlocked another kind of freedom for both: togetherness. A sort of freedom with enhanced benefits. This new discovery was the confirmation that they were lovable, imperfect yet magical, respected, admired, adored and above all, unconditionally accepted.
 He said:" We burned into the purest essence" And she knew exactly what he spoke of.
 They were magicians that fell in love with their own spell.
 In a way they were releasing into the world a whirlpool of love that was forever going to change each other and more.
 As she was watching the sunset she sobbed. Ahead of them lay their own missions to complete. They were young enough to hope against all odds but old enough to realize that not reaching their goals was going to turn them into a bitter couple. They both knew that not setting each other free was going to take away from the purity of their relationship.

Now they embrace knowing that they would never have chosen otherwise. She feels grateful that she lost that flight. He is happy that she stayed on, even if her departure will mean her unbearable absence.

They felt strangely wiser...
 They had the chance to recognize their true selves. No matter what definitions they may have worn, they were courageous enough to drop their shields in front of each other. They learned quickly that the strength of their relationship stood in their freedom to be as vulnerable as possible.
 They wished upon their dearest friends this kind of love. And now, they were stepping out into the unknown, the cold unfriendly space of randomness but with the certainty that LOVE Happens .

 

Author: My Little Incredible Life

Interested in the mind, the soul and how them two get on. I will try and explore a few experiences, some good some bad, some mine, some other's but I will write with honesty and truthfulness

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